People are not pets. Yet many treat their pets better than their loved ones.
The average pet owner makes sure the animal has its food and water, looks after their ailments and plays with them. And as long as the ground rules of not urinating on the furniture or ripping the couch apart with the claws are not broken, the animal is then left to do their thing. Their thing being - what it is they do. A dog gets to be a dog and a cat is allowed and encouraged to be - a cat. We do not try to change them or their behavior. These animals are 'allowed' to be all that they can or wish to be within the restraints of their environment and in so doing, they thrive and show their affection accordingly.
So what's my point? Far too many people do not have the luxury of such a life where we can be ourselves. Far too many men want to control their women as if property, demanding various duties and controls. Likewise far too many women try to change their man into something they do not wish to be, saying such thing as if you love me you'll this for me.
Our basic marriage vows even demand such garbage which immediately puts restraints on the natural human state. That of being all that one can be.
It's one thing to change into something you secretly wish to be by encouragement. Its entirely another thing to be forced into a model of something you are not or wish to be. And to need control over anyone is only showing a weakness in themselves. Unfortunately, knowing these things seldom helps the situation because mentioning you knowledge of such only fuels the fire of resentment and the war starts.
So where did we go wrong? Quite simply we go wrong by trying to change and control something (someone) who has just as much right of being themselves as anybody else. These persons under control and pressure to reinvent themseves do not thrive, their spirit dies inside and thus - envy their own pets who are treated better.
Our pets thrive when we let them be what they are. Its too bad many a man (as in human) does not seem to have the same basic rights, to be themselves and to express themselves in a way that suits them without restraint.
Of course if such a person is allowed to do the things which are not tolerated or admired, they may not be loved, but that would be their choice - not someone else's.
The expression is true; if you love something set it free. This doesn't mean kick them out or send them away. It simply means - let them be all they can be. Let your loved one be themselves and except that we are all different and unique individuals. You can not control what you do not own, and you do not own anybody. If a person is allowed to be free, they will thrive and give their love back to you. They would also be at peace with themselves and they would have no reason to leave.
Love is not control. It is not demanding or even sacrificing. Love asks nothing, demands nothing and it excepts all. Love can be a compromise, but it does not squash the spirit of anyone or anyone's idividuality.
- To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
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